March 9, 2007- A Little bit of humor goes a long way

March 9, 2007

I really liked the improv games we played in class today. I thought it was interesting how people chose to act out their specific adverbs. It was a high energy class in a relaxed environment. I really liked that. It is much easier to communicate when energy is high and everyone is relaxed. I think this can apply to communications. It is true that in communicating a little bit of humor can go a long way and lighten the mood.

March 7, 2007- Beliefs in Communicating

March 7, 2007
Today I learned that my beliefs from the past will not serve me in my abilities to become a good communicator. I need to let go of past beliefs and let myself see the way things are without those beliefs clouding my vision.

I really enjoyed class today. It revealed to me many aspects of my life that could be improved if I let go of my beliefs and insecurities that have shaped my personality and the way I act around others. I need to change these beliefs and improve my level of communicating by doing so.

I shared everything we learned in class today with Tyson. He was able to see how letting go of some of my past beliefs will help me to communicate better. He listened very closely and also thought of some areas where he could apply this lesson in his life. I thought it was pretty cool. This lesson revealed a lot to me about the how my beliefs hold me back in many different circumstances.

March 5, 2007- Communicating and the Media

March 5, 2007

One thing that stood out to me in class today was our discussion on how society “scripts” the way we communicate with one another. A huge influence on people today is the media. In the media we find numerous terrible examples. Through the media and our society we are taught to hide our emotions, look tough, etc. In the media we are constantly seeing dysfunctional relationships that are based solely on lust, not love or proper communication, which is what we need to base our relationships on. It is very important or recognize these fallacies in the media so we will be able to avoid them and communicate in our relationships on a higher level.

March 2, 2007- Appropriate Disclosure

March 2, 2007

Today I had an experience which really helped me to understand the importance of appropriate disclosure. I was with my family this weekend and we were all trying to decide on a place to eat. One of my friends said, “We should go to Johnny Carrino's its really good.” Immediately my sister barked back, “No I hate that place we're not going there.” I could tell right away that my friend was offended just in the manner that my sister had said she didn't want to go there. I told my sister that she wasn't being very nice or considerate to other's.

Well it turns out the reason my sister didn't want to go there was because she is lactose intolerant and it is a Italian restaurant which mean it has dairy in almost every dish. After we found out a little more information we were all a little more relaxed. It does make since that she wouldn't want to go there.

It is so important to provide appropriate disclosure in our conversations. I quickly told my sister about this principal and she agreed that if she had provided enough information from the beginning everyone would have been a little more relaxed and she would not have offended anyone. So the moral of the story is to provide appropriate disclosure so as not to offend people.

February 28, 2007- Improv

February 28, 2007

Improv, it does wonders in helping us communicate better. Improv can help us think on our feet and come up with a beginning, middle, and end to our conversations, it is not just funny comedy it helps us loosen up and respond to what people are saying while adding a little bit on at the end. We can all benefit in participating in improv. I have really had a lot of fun watching the improv and thinking of ways I would handle the particular situation. Plust it is always fun to relax and laugh a little.

February 26, 2007- Unexpressed feelings

February 26, 2007

Today I learned that unexpressed feelings never die, they fester and become problems later. This is why it is so important to express and let others express their feelings. It is important to understand where people are coming from and also to seek to be understood. This means to state what we are saying clearly while expressing the emotion we are feeling. This will help us better communicate.

This principal really has helped me. I now realize that I need to express what I am thinking before it becomes a problem and is blown out of porportion. I have now changed the way I express myself. I express myself before things become a huge problem. This principal has really saved me in a lot of situations that could have turned out pretty badly.

February 23, 2007- Role Play

February 23, 2007

I'm so excited we are going places in the role play. I feel like all our wrong approaches and previous attempts are finally starting to make since. From the role play I learned:

1. Establish a relationship of trust
2. Throw away your personal agenda
3. Take time, things like this don't come out all at once
4. Listen empathically! It solves almost all problems in communicating
5. Set aside your emotions and feelings to better understand the feelings of others
6. Don't be thrown off by attempts to get off on a less important topic
7. Practice empathic listening, the more you practice the better you become

Its really nice to finally figure out the key to unlocking important and sometimes complicated information. I have found that what I have learned in the role play has helped me so many times in my communications with others. It has completley altered the way I communicate for the better.

So Sorry

I have to apologize to everyone. You must all think I am not blogging. See I work a full time job and I have a full course load which means I'm always strapped for time. I do blog, I just don't have internet access all the time. I finally was able to make enough time to catch up on my blogging so I am going to post all my blogs for the past month!


February 14, 2007
Relationships are complicated. Today in class I learned that a big reason for the problem in relationships comes when people are not communicating effectively.
I learned that in my relationships I need to set my personal agenda aside and really listen empathically. Empathic listening needs to be a deposit in the Emotional Bank Account.

Maturity Continuum

February 12, 2007
I'm really excited about the maturity continuum. I know that sounds pretty nerdy but since we learned it in class I have been evaluating all sorts of relationship and seeing where people rank along the continuum.
This principal is relevant in every relationship. It is important to become emotionally mature in order to elevate one's relationships. For example, if I am emotionally mature, everyone I interact with will have to be elevated or they will not be able to communicate with me on the same level.
I've already tried to apply this principal in all of my relationships. I also can see it working in others' relationships as well.
I taught this principal to Tyson right after I learned it because I was so excited about it. He thought it was pretty cool. He started evaluating all sorts of relationships after I told him. It was pretty fun.

Role Play

February 9, 2007
Expanding on the role play today was very interesting. I finally feel like we are getting somewhere. We are unlocking some really great informations and getting that much closer to the heart of the “onion.”
One thing that really caught my attention in class today was just a simple quote that Brother Adams said, “couples that fight are not at the end of their relationship, it is when they stop fighting and are no longer emotionally invested that the relationship is over.” There is a lot of wisdom to this quote. I can see how it is very relevant in everyday life. Obviously it isn't good to fight, there are better ways to solve problems, but it does not necessarily mean the end of the relationship.
I told Tyson about this quote, he agreed with it and could see how it is relevant. Pretty cool.

Emotional Aikido

February 7, 2007
Today in communications we had a very hands on lesson that taught us the importance of practicing “emotional Aikido” versus “emotional Wang Chung.” This was a really fun class and important lesson for me to learn personally. I think often it is so easy to become defensive and hurt each other's feelings because we want the other person to know exactly how we feel or perceive them to be. It is very important to be patient with people and understand where they are coming from; it is also important to cool down and think about what we say before we do or say something we might regret (emotional Wang Chung).
In applying this principal I notice that I am more patient and understanding. I try to take the energy of the person I am listening to and use that to communicate with them instead of getting worked up and using a lot more energy than needed. I find that I let the little things “roll off my back” and I am not as uptight.
I taught this principal to Tyson. He thought it was pretty interesting and he could easily see how it is important when communicating.

Emotions and Communicating

February 5, 2007
I discussed with a co-worker today the idea of all our emotions stemming from love and fear. It was a pretty interesting conversation. We went through all the emotions we could think of and trace them back to their roots. It was really fun to point out that jealousy stems from fear, etc.

I'm not quite sure how to apply this knowledge to communications. In a way it is useful to better understand my own emotions as well as those I am communicating with. By knowing where their emotions are coming from it will be useful in knowing how to console them or empathize with them. A key concept in communicating effectively and being a good listener is to understand your audience.

The Praiseworthy Principal

January 26, 2007
I am really excited about the “Praiseworthy Principal.” I think this is something we talk about all the time in church without really applying it (at least that is my experience with it). I found it really useful to actually plan out ways to execute the “Praiseworthy Principal” by noting the good and ignoring the bad and also getting rid of “but” statements by substituting “and.” This principal is so simple yet it is just human nature to find fault in one another. I think once this principal is applied over and over, until it becomes a part of our character, our relationships with everyone we come into contact with will change. We will be able to lift those we love instead of bringing them down. This principal in a way is just another method of serving one another. We have been commanded to love our neighbor and serve them. By applying the “Praiseworthy Principal” in our daily communications we will be uplifting and serving those around us.

The Road to an Empathic Communicator

January 24, 2007
Class today was very interesting. I learned a number of important tips on how to become a better communicator.
Key Principals:
We need to serve our fellow men in our communications, not our own personal agendas.
Make sure to correctly diagnose a problem before you prescribe a solution.
Empathic listening is achieved:
a. when we throw away our personal agenda
b. when we rephrase content and reflect feeling back
When emotions are high and trust is low do not use autobiographical responses!
These key principals are relevant in every aspect of my life so I can become a better communicator. In applying these principals in my everyday conversations I find them to be very true. I am just starting out on the process of becoming an expert communicator, but I do feel I am making small progress. I feel my conversations are more meaningful and enjoyable.
I taught these principals to a roommate and friend.

Success through Inconvenience

Wow! There is so much truth to this article. While I read Gary Ryan Blair's commentary about being successful through inconvenience I could really see its principals playing a role in my own life, especially in how I communicate with others. Blair talks a great deal about inconvenience. I think this is very relevant to what we have learned so far in class. How many times do we take the easy way out by not listening to one another? I find I take the easy way out almost every time I communicate with others. Why do I do this? Well, true, meaningful communication takes time and effort. It oftentimes makes me feel uncomfortable (like we talked about in class) I become aware of my own incompetencies. It is just easier to stay where I am comfortable and forget about genuine communication.

So, how does this article apply? I think it is very important that we keep this in mind throughout the class and in the role play. In order to become successful communicators we are going to have to excel past what we have been willing do in the past. We will have to feel uncomfortable and do what other people are not willing to do. By applying this principal of being successful through inconvenience we will touch the lives of those we communicate with.

Class Re-cap

January 21, 2007
I really enjoyed class today. I learned a great deal about communication. My favorite principal we discussed was throwing away our personal agendas when we communicate with others. I have been trying to apply this principal in my communications and I can see that it really does work. When I do this I feel like I am truly getting to know that person and understand what they are saying without clouding my head with my agenda and thoughts. I taught these principals to a close friend and they really enjoyed learning about them. It was a very enjoyable experience to share what I had learned.

Levels of Listening

Thanks so much Spencer for getting my blog up and running. You're the best!

January 17, 2007
Class was pretty interesting today. I really liked learning about the different levels of communication. I can see how in my life I really do ignore people when they are talking, pretend to listen, or use selective listening. Since class I have really tried to become a better active listener. I try to really pay attention to what people are saying and become more interested in what they have to say rather than what I will be saying next. I think this has helped me to become more aware of their needs and how they are feeling. I am really excited to learn about the “empathetic” level of listening. I also taught a friend about the levels of listening. We just talked about it for a while and they agreed that it is interesting how people can pretend to listen when they really have no idea what is going on. I'm pretty excited about being able to use this lesson in my relationships with other people. I think if I actively listen it will help strengthen my relationships.

First Day of Class

Hey now that I can finally post...here is a blog from the first day of class!

January 5, 2006
Interpersonal Communications
Capture:
Key Principles:
Communication Exercise
Introduction of class
Optimizing Communication Discussion
Channels of Communication Discussion
Relevance: Channels of Communication
Numerous Channels
Instant Communication
Ease of communicating
Application: To apply this lesson I decided to use two different types of communication and contrast them. First, I wrote a letter. Second, I wrote an email to a friend. It is amazing to the different tools we have to communicate. Communication is instant. We have the power to communicate perfectly with people miles away from where we are.
Teach: I called my mom and we talked about how instant communication is. When she was growing up you had to write letters and occasionally call people far away. Today we have access to numerous channels of instant communication.
Report: This was a fun exercise. I really became aware of the different channels of communication and our access to them.

Test

Hopefully this works